I went into hospital last week to have a thyroid tumour removed. Now, I have had operations before but the thought of having your throat cut under anaesthesia has to be the darkest of thoughts and my imagination played on it as imaginations do when backed up by anxiety. Maybe they wouldn't give me enough anaesthetic.... maybe I could feel the scalpel and wouldn't be able to tell them.... (You've read all the horror stories, too, I'm sure.) Maybe my heart would fail under surgical stress.... and on and on that little voice goes...
I was packing my bag for hospital the day before and I thought, "Blow hospital food, I'm going to take my gingernuts.... " I'd just bought another twin pack of my favourites. Then it occurred to me THAT was a very positive thought! THAT meant I could see myself living through the operation. THAT meant I could focus on something else other than going to theatre....
Well, I went to theatre. And yes, I did have my throat cut. No, I didn't feel a thing. I don't even remember talking to the anaesthetist and surgeon as they prepared me, but I DO remember waking up and saying "Hello everyone!" which made them all laugh for some reason. Then after I slept an hour or so more, the nurse brought me in a cup of tea and the next thing I said, pointing to my bag, was, "Could you pass me my gingernuts, please?" The nurse didn't think that was very wise given the fact I'd had surgery to my throat and my swallowing and everything would be very tender. Then I reminded her that a DUNKED gingernut would be 'just what the doctor ordered' in terms of soft food and she laughed and handed me one and I tell you, that dunked gingernut was heaven on earth!